really struggling

i'm really struggling tonight. I had a mental breakdown from pain and anxiety which led to more pain and anxiety! I just need to finish this semester so badly. I don't know why i put so much pressure on myself to do so well, i need to realize that I have RSD and i still almost always manage to outdo what i think i'm going to do. Yet that's still not good enough for me.

I cannot wait to get ketamine on Wednesday. I just have to hope that it is as effective as it was last time, giving me a months relief, even if it's just  few points on the pain scale relief.

Tomorrow night i have my night class final and then Tuesday i have my history and mainframe finals and then Thursday night i have a java takehome final due, but cause of ketamine i will have to have it done before then.